“My daughter says the girls at church are mean to her.” My son says he doesn’t have any friends at church.” “My youth group is so disjointed.” I hear it all the time. When asking students and their leaders what is needed most in their group the answer often given is: Unity, fellowship or something related. As I consider it, it probably is true. After all how do you take a bunch of random people with different lives and more importantly values and get them on the same page; get them to actually be friends? Problem is these things are not tasks or something you can manufacture through programs. You can underscore them but it will not happen apart from God.
In my previous post I alluded to the need for spiritual transformation pretty directly. Think about the individual you’re dealing with and their reality. As humans they are coming into their own, beginning to self-actualize and choose their own path. If you add a good dose of sin nature infused with the steroid of culture, there is no amount of programming that can compete with this; the animal doesn’t need tamed, it needs transformed. When you consider that many students in a ministry do not go to school together so they don’t share a common social life, let alone homes that run a gamut of beliefs and values, it reinforces the need to focus on the main thing; disciples! Even if you think you’re the Cesar Milan of youth ministry and you do achieve a measure of success, to quote a friend; “Sayin a things a thing, doesn’t make a thing a thing.” Once they leave your ministry even if they pulled off a demeanor of love and kindness, apart from a changed heart and life the “beast” will return. Isn’t the point of youth ministry spiritual life? Don’t focus on the task then, aim at the heart. Want your students to be friends? Connect them in Christ, only he can erase real differences. One thing Cesar would tell you, you have to understand the nature of the beast and stay with in that framework to get it to do what you want it too. If you’re honest we treat students that way. We desire a certain behavior as a measure of success, we want them to act a certain way, in this case toward one another; but just working on behavior is not transformation. Don’t train them, change them!
I’ll revisit this to give air to what it takes to build a ministry of transformation over on of behavior modification in the future. In the meantime test your approach are merely trying to control the beast? Not sure? Ask yourself these questions
- Do my students know God or just about Him?
- What do I focus more; Group building (keeping everyone happy), or sharing the truth?
- Is my focus spiritual or pandering?
- Do I build biblical conviction in my ministry or am I unwilling to take a stand on culture?
- Have my students had a real glimpse of God's transforming work in my life or do I model mere self-control.
What do you think?
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