"Who is the Expert?"

"Are You an Expert?"

Over the past several years I have had the privilege to get to know a young man and his family. Loren is a quadriplegic and for the first few years, was quite mobile, an active college student. As time and our relationship progressed he began to deteriorate suffering from acute pain to the point of being bed ridden. On several occasions he ended up in emergency trying to manage the unbearable pain. Two particular episodes stand out in my mind; let me share them with you.

“As I walked in the room it was obvious Loren had had all he could take and was in a place we can only imagine. I looked at his parents, both in the medical field having been corpsmen. His father in fact was in charge of one of the labs in the hospital. Both mom and dad recounted different aspects of Loren’s condition, history, filling in the emergency room staff as too past procedures in the escalating pain. The staff a “seasoned” group of individuals (you could tell not just by demeanor, but the grey around the temples) listened intently to Loren’s parents making them part of the team, very aware that these two were far more in the know about their son and his condition, than they who had just met him and were generalists in medicine.  At one point Loren’s dad offered and proceeded to hand carry blood work to the lab expediting the results far quicker than the system could working normally. The Doctors, the nurses all preformed with the utmost attention to the situation, taking nothing for granted. As a team, which held as key players Loren’s parents, they were able to get the pain to subside and allow Loren to return home. (More than a year later Loren would find himself hospitalized for three months as they tried to assist in reversing the debilitating pain.)"

Fast forward just several days later same scenario, same hospital, different and younger staff. 

"As I walked in I sensed a far different atmosphere. Anytime the parents would offer information concerning their son and his condition; levels of pain and appropriate medicine dosages, things that had an established medical history for him and were well documented, they were quickly brushed aside with not a little disdain from the “medical experts”. Never mind that his chart was available from several days earlier. Never mind that these doctors and nurses had less experience than the earlier team, medically and with Loren’s condition. They were the experts and no amount of information these two individuals could share could have any possible value. These had their system, their procedures and were not going to break protocol. What a difference in the time it took to get the desired outcome, the tension that was caused and the frustration on all involved. At one point as earlier in the week Loren’s dad again offered to carry blood work to the lab; the nurse in charge became visibly livid, then through shortened words and breath, let him know this would not be allowed. It was easily translated as 'I’m in charge. You obviously have a misguided impression, as if you could ever be of any value in the process!'"

While this is an admitted extreme case I often wonder as I listen to youth Pastors speak of parents which of these approaches they are taking as they work with the students. Admittedly there are many instances where a parent needs an outside perspective, but no matter how severe the situation is it will most certainly not accomplish Christ’s plan for the student or the parents if one approaches ministry with them as the latter team of Doctors and nurses; the “professionals” did. One needs to build a ministry plan that takes into account God’s parameters adjusting our understanding to His desires not to cultures brush stroke. No matter your intent can I challenge you to take a fresh look at your relationship and involvement to the parents of you students.? 

"Just as Long as I'm Included"

"Just as long as I'm included!"

The TV sitcom "Taxi"; starring the likes of: Judd Hirsch, Tony Danza, Danny DeVito and a favorite of mine, Christopher Loyd to name a few; finds Loyd, who plays Jim Ingnatowski, a taxi driver with a mind permanently fogged by to many drugs, looking for inclusion. Danza and another driver in their social activities, coldly rebuffs every query of "Jim's"to be a part of their "fun", in essence saying we don't want you around. It reaches it's climax when Jim is told he can sit outside the game room and watch from a distant vantage point. Jim in his moronic voice says something to the effect of: "Great as long as I'm included!" 

Do you know when you've been mocked, slammed, lied to, told you're an idiot and totally marginalized? I often wonder if we do, given the steady diet of morally downward spiraling junk, we tolerate under the guise of entertainment. Anyone else find a problem with this years Super Bowl halftime show? Check this commentary out and then do some inspection on how you're helping your students in the assault on their moral world view. 

What Are You Doing?

If your students were polled and asked what they gained by being in your ministry, how do you think they would answer? Notice I didn't say; … what they liked about your youth ministry or group. Which may or may not be a valid measurement of the first question, depending on how your students answer. You’ve committed to leading this youth ministry. Why: To do what? What’s your goal; what are you trying to accomplish in the lives of your students by providing and leading this ministry?

There are a lot of ways this is answered today. Some leaders focus on providing a warm and receiving safe place for students to come, no bullies allowed: It’s a place to feel the love of Christ.  Some leaders focus on training their students to be a force of social conscience; feeding the homeless, caring for the elderly, rehabbing houses: It’s a place to be the hands and feet of Christ. Some leaders become a social magnet in the lives of students trying to offer elements of all the above; it’s a place to experience for the “body of Christ”. Still other leaders focus on engaging and growing their group through the “message of Christ”; the conversion of each heart through acknowledgement of sin, repentance and receiving the free gift of Christ’s sacrifice: It becomes a place to be assured of Heaven.

No matter which of these groups resembles your own; maybe it’s something quite other that hasn’t been touched on in this post, regardless; What are you doing? What is the point of the gospel, which to be sure includes pieces of the above things, but on an individual and corporate level, what is the value? What does a student gain by being touched by your ministry? You know already I’m going to make a suggestion so hear me out.

If a student or individual isn’t gaining a transformed life, moving them from where they are, to completion (maturity) in Christ. If that student has absolutely no clue that Christ’s message of salvation deals not only with eternity but the hear and now; if they get anything but a strategic connection between who they are; their unique design (Psalm 139) and Christ’s mission: A mission to redeem them, bringing them to fruition for His kingdom and glory now as well as for eternity future (commonly called heaven) then even if your doing good stuff, it’s the right stuff, with the worng goal.

Do you teach your students to own the glory of their lives? To understand and know that the redemptive process is about God releasing His design in them, that thing they were made for? Do they know that apart from Him they will never gain their sense of purpose and fulfillment? The driving hunger of their souls will be forever damned in an unquenchable thirst unsatisfied; yes in eternity that will be played out in eternal suffering separated from God in everlasting darkness; yes scripture defines clearly Hell as that place of torment. It will also be played out in this life as they run down every path of promise looking for answers and meaning. So are they gaining at least a sense of God’s plan for their lives from you, or simply training for a position in you corporate structure called Church? Do you have some lesser agenda in hopes they will stick around long enough to gain the real story?

Let me challenge you, as you continually hone your skill in the word, to become a student of God’s intended story for now; read books like; Gary Barkalow’s: “It’s Your Call”, or Donald Miller’s: “A Million Miles In A Thousand Years” There are so many that will assist you and give you the tools to help your students live out their role in God’s unbelievable narrative. Don't give your students less than the whole story! 

What It Takes to Be Really Great

I confess it would be easy for me to be a “gym rat”. I love to work out. I always have but early in my life when results were slow in coming I slacked off, I didn't give it a priority. Years later through the gift of time by a young college student, I rediscovered lifting weights and the results were noticeable in a relatively short time. Thirty days changed my attitude and motivation. Two decades later and I’m still at it. The benefits are enjoyable and my success is evident, though not complete!

I love to see individuals transformed through effort, time and perseverance. I go out of my way to encourage them; I know what it takes to achieve in this arena on any level. I was talking with an individual who had packed on about thirty pounds of muscle. He went from a relatively skinny guy to one who is made note of. I acknowledged his success and encouraged him to keep up his hard work. We all need people to encourage us, letting us know when they see our consistent effort. It helps us press on when we wonder about the effects.

One of the frustrations students often face when thinking about achievement is the time it takes. We live in a society of immediacy. We want success in a given endeavor now! In the gym I see people always looking for and sometimes taking the “magic” pill, to gain fast results. I get it, I really do, but I want solid lasting results, not something that fades when I stop ingesting something!

This view of immediacy, impacts our students in every area of living; relationships, career, and of course, their walk or absence there of, with God. Telling them it’s the little things that build on each other for success is not enough. They need to see it operate in your life. So the question is what are you doing that demands discipline and not giving up; investing the time now to reap a benefit later?

“In ‘Outliers’ Malcolm Gladwell says that people who attain extraordinary success put in 10,000 hours before reaching their “success.” 

What are you investing your time in; how much time? An obvious follow up; what exactly are you asking those you lead to invest in? Are you a testament to the truth of perseverance with your time? 

Want to be really Great? After reading this you're only 10,000 hours away; get going!

"My Spider Senses Were Tingling"

Every nerve, every sense was on high alert; the waves crashing over the nose of my canoe, wind driven rain lashing my face, as I struggled to keep the canoe on line; close to land, should we need a quick exit. My “partner” for the day was of no use, having empty the contents of her stomach on the previous portage with convulsive wretches, brought on by nothing more than fear. Now she was a liability, her few attempts with no timing or strength, as she tried placing her paddle in the water, almost capsized us. Though we were in the company of several other canoes, the water was cold this fall and hypothermia a reality. If they couldn't reach us in time; getting us out of the water and to shore, we’d be in real trouble. Given the wind, condition of the bay and my partner, it was obvious, we needed to move to shore and stop for the day; at least for the time being.

Ever been in a situation that commanded such attention? It seems the more experience I gain in life, the more I see clearly these moments others miss in the everyday events of life and growth.

I had such an experience when one of my sons announced on “Facebook” he was “in a relationship” a common thing in our world for a 20 year old. So why are my “spider senses tingling”?

It continues to be an expected, yet under-directed and under-informed part of our Students lives. What one thing, next to embracing Christ, will have more impact in their lives than this; their understanding, pursuit and marriage to a member of the opposite sex? (Never mind in today’s world we first have to convince them, though nature screams it, that it needs to be a member of the opposite sex!)

Most teaching handles the obvious of purity and appropriate behavior, but what of the underlying and necessary assumptions; shared values, goals, and life mission? Relational aptitude (treating others correctly) and monogamy aside, more relationships have been shipwrecked on these rocks, those necessary assumptions, than anything else. Even the number one thing that couples fight over; “money” carries basic and foundational difference of values at its core: Those embattled, holding views often unknown to themselves, born out by action and response more than conscious dogma (belief).

If you’re working with students, make sure to bring them to the foundation of their lives; an unwavering understanding of their own call and purpose in Christ for this life, their work and destination; before you merely succumb to the typical cultural model of handling all the expected transitions in their lives. The very heart of the issue is their design. We know that we shouldn't be “unequally yoked” (2 Cor. 6:14 KJV) specifically speaking of believers marrying unbelievers or partnering with them. At its bedrock it speaks of two individuals with distinct natures who will approach work (life) differently (Duet 22:10). If you are going to do justice to your students in the department of relationships, not only do you need to win the battle of Missionary dating, moral purity and being truly connected to Christ, but of personal nature and call. How does each of your students need to re-present Christ: One a gifted musician with a passion for people yet so very quiet, another boisterous commanding attention, sometimes demanding it with little concern for the given decorum of the moment? Where is God leading them? You will only be able to give small hints in this process, for it is a life journey and only their own relationship with God will unlock it fully, but you need them to be clued into the process and some important markers of their own wiring and destiny.  

“If you’re designed to be a distance runner it is a sure bet, you won’t be living your life in a series of sprints. So why do you keep eyeing the sprinters as potential partners to complete your race?”

Your Students need to figure out their own (God given) design; passions, skills/abilities, and dreams; their calling before they tie their hearts, lives and dreams with another’s; one who may be headed in an opposing direction. For those who find my words compelling make sure you champion the process for others. To those quick to dismiss such things; we'll just follow the trail of broken relationships, hearts and dreams you've propagated through denial, ignorance, or worse an embrace of our present cultures morays.

Are You A White Supremacist?

“…. Two things came to mind: the beautiful young things of the reformed renaissance have a hard choice to make in the next decade.  You really do kid only yourselves if you think you can be an orthodox Christian and be at the same time cool enough and hip enough to cut it in the wider world. Frankly, in a couple of years it will not matter how much urban ink you sport, how much fair trade coffee you drink, how many craft brews you can name, how much urban gibberish you spout, how many art house movies you can find that redeemer figure in, and how much money you divert from gospel preaching to social justice: maintaining biblical sexual ethics will be the equivalent in our culture of being a white supremacist.”     Carl Trueman  

Intrigued? Take a minute and read the entirety of this individual’s post; realize if you are under 30 years of age, in a position of leadership serving the youth of our day, you will face the greatest immediate challenge (next to parents) in dealing with this as you attempt to apply truth in their arena of life. The fact is your own worldview has been affected by the mores of this attitude so prevalent in our culture today. No matter the era “holding to a standard of truth in love” given a generations particular bent (its pushing of moral boundaries), is difficult. Now that the philosophy of “tolerance” has had its time to become fully entrenched as the standard to test all things by, it should be easy to see the truth of the authors last statement…. If you cannot you prove my point of your own capitulation. So how will you deal with this? Or will you be a "White Supremacist". Yes the world is painting you into a corner. it is up to you to re-present Christ allowing Him to do the thing he does best; not be contained.